Maude Read online

  I shook my head. “Not right away, maybe next summer. I want to have my baby sleeping right here where I can be close and know that it’s all right.”

  James held me close to him and kissed my forehead. “You let me know what I ought to do to help you. We don’t want to take any chances. We want him to be big and healthy.”

  “I’ll take care. Your mom said for me not to lift anything heavy, like the water buckets, for a few months.” I didn’t say anything to discourage James about it being a boy. All men wanted sons, especially the firstborn, but in my heart I already knew it would be a girl. I hoped it would look like my mother and share Faith’s blonde curls.

  That night, when I undressed, I held my palm against my stomach. I closed my eyes and imagined my baby could hear my voice. “I’m going to love you and take care of you the best I know how. I’m going to make you little dresses and gowns with flowers stitched on them, and when your hair gets long enough, if it doesn’t curl on its own, I’m going to wind it up in curls every night.” I patted my tummy and the precious life inside it and smiled to myself. I was so happy.

  The morning sickness passed in a few weeks. I was grateful I didn’t suffer with it the way Helen had, almost until the end of her time. After a while, my clothes began to tug across my middle. I had taken to lifting the waistline a little to ease the pull. James’s mother brought me some big aprons and some new fabric.

  “If you wear an apron you don’t have to button your dress in the middle, and that will get you through part of the time. I brought you this fabric for an early birthday present. There’s enough here that you can make yourself two dresses to wear for later, when you get too big for the ones you have. After the baby comes, you can cut them over to make regular dresses.”

  I was so thankful. I had never in my life had two new dresses at one time. I would have one to wear and one to wash. I hugged my mother-in-law with a tear in my eye. “You’re so good to me. Thank you so much.”

  Mom Connor patted me on the back, “You’re a good girl, Maude. I can see that James is happy with you. You keep a clean house, and you’re a good cook, and my boy goes around with a smile on his face. I couldn’t ask for more than that from any daughter-in-law.”

  I couldn’t help but grin from ear-to-ear. It felt good to be appreciated. I’d heard how some girls hated their husband’s mother. I felt I must be the luckiest wife in the world.

  It was a mild winter that year. Snow dusted the ground but didn’t stay long. It didn’t take much to heat the cabin, but James kept the firewood bin filled anyway. One day he brought home a smooth, wide plank about eight feet long. He propped it up on the front porch while he unfolded a brown paper pattern and drew the outline of it on the wood, then he cut around the lines, sanded the edges, and put the pieces together. I’d wrapped myself with a blanket over my coat so I could sit outside and watch him. He wouldn’t tell me what he was up to, but it wasn’t long before I figured it out. It was a cradle for the baby. I was so proud of him. I’d had no idea he could do such a thing. He held it up in front of me. “That ought to hold him for a while.”

  “It’s wonderful!” I said. “I love it.”

  James took his time smoothing out the rough edges of the wood and then carried the cradle in the cabin and placed it in the corner by our bed. He gave one corner of it a push and it rocked for a long time before it stopped.

  “That’s how you can tell the bottom is even on both ends, it rocks smooth,” James said, obviously proud of his work. I wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head on his shoulder. The baby was turning around in my growing tummy. He could feel it kicking against his side.

  “He’s about to bust out of there now. It’s a good thing we got a bed to put him in.”

  I just smiled. Yes, it was a good thing we had a bed for my little girl. I was so happy, so very, very happy.

  Chapter 5

  It was almost spring, the way Mrs. Connor said it would be, when I felt the first labor pains. It was early in the afternoon, and the pains were mild and about a half-hour apart. I’d talked with some of the women at the church about their deliveries and had seen Helen deliver her babies, so I wasn’t worried. There was plenty of time before the baby would be born.

  When James came home from the store, I was rocking on the porch. I told him, “I been getting cramps all afternoon. I think the baby’s coming.”

  James’s face went white, and his mouth fell open, “I’ll run get Dr. Wilson right now.”

  I laughed at him. “We don’t need to hurry. It’ll probably be tomorrow before it happens. Go tell him it’s started and tell your mom. She’ll want to help us.”

  He said, “Mom’s still up in Union City nursing her sister. Dad thought she might get home today or tomorrow, but we don’t know for sure.”

  “Well, go let Dr. Wilson know. He’ll tell you when to come get him. Like I said, it’ll probably be tomorrow. Maybe your Mom will be home by then. I know she wouldn’t want to miss it. Give me your watch.”

  We didn’t have a clock in the cabin, and I’d been guessing the timing of the pains. He pulled his watch out of his pocket and handed it to me, then he turned and took off down the path. I smiled after him as he ran full speed toward the doctor’s house.

  After a few minutes, he came running back. “Doc Wilson’s out at the Miller farm. Sister Miller’s having her baby today, too. Sister Wilson said he ought to be back soon ‘cause it’s the Miller’s fifth baby, and she has an easy time of it.”

  He looked terrified. I wasn’t at all afraid. I reached out and took his hand. I knew that giving him work to do would help him not to worry, so I said, “Doctor Wilson will want lots of water to clean up, hot water, and clean towels and blankets. Why don’t you make the fire higher and start drawing the water?”

  I could tell James was relieved to be able to do something. He ran in the cabin, got the water bucket, and made trips back and forth to the well. The first trip, he went so fast that half the water splashed out of the bucket. After that, he slowed to a normal walk. He filled the kettle that hung on the hook in the fireplace first and stoked up the logs to get them burning. After that, he went up to the main house for extra linens and piled them up on the little bedside table. Then he filled all of the pots we had and brought more from his mom’s house. It tickled me to watch him, and when he gathered considerably more than I thought we would need, I finally stopped him. By then it was growing dark.

  I’d still been having cramps about a half-hour apart, but they were growing stronger. I stood and stretched. “I think we should go in now, the night air is coming down.”

  James wrapped one arm around me and led me inside as if he thought I couldn’t walk by myself. “Is there anything else we need?”

  I thought it over. It would help him to stay busy, but I didn’t know of anything else he could do. “I guess now we just have to wait. Let’s have some supper and get some sleep.”

  “I’ll fix it. You sit down and rest.”

  “I’m all right,” I said. I laid the watch on the bed table and started dinner. I’d had James kill a chicken that morning, fried it for the noon meal, and left it covered on the table. I pulled the cloth off and got out some cornbread. We had that with a mess of greens left warming in a pot next to the fire, and even though I wasn’t hungry, I made an act of eating so James wouldn’t notice and miss his meal. I tried not to show it when the pains came, now a little closer together and harder. I didn’t want to worry him.

  After we’d eaten, I cleaned up and changed into a nightgown, not one of my best, just something that would do.

  “Leave the lamp burning low,” I told him, “just enough so I can see the watch.”

  I folded a blanket and placed it under my hips so if my water broke during the night the mattress wouldn’t get wet, then we went to bed. In only a few minutes, James’s breathing told me he’d fallen asleep, so when the next few cramps came I pulled my knees up and kept quiet. They were worse than before, but I was
still able to doze off between them.

  About two in the morning I woke with a pain so sharp I couldn’t catch my breath. The nature of the pain had changed altogether. It wasn’t a cramp anymore. No wonder Helen screamed. I held back a cry, rolled over on my side and rode it out, staring at the watch. After another five minutes, another one washed over me. When it eased up, I shook James. He was awake in an instant. “It’s time to go get the doctor. I’m not going to make it until morning. Tell him I’m sorry to get him out of bed.”

  James pulled on his shirt and pants, kissed me on the forehead, and ran out the door. I realized he was barefoot. I hoped he wouldn’t catch cold.

  After only a few minutes, he ran back in the cabin. “Are you all right? Doctor Wilson will be here in a little bit. He just got back from the Millers.”

  He pulled a chair up next to the bed and clutched my hand. Another pain came, and my whole body went stiff. Even though I didn’t cry out, James’s face went white. Finally, it passed, and I relaxed.

  The doctor came and James jumped up out of his seat, “The pains are real bad, doc.”

  “Why don’t you wait out on the porch while I look her over, James.”

  James stopped at the door and looked back at us. I could see that he wanted to stay, but I was glad to have him gone.

  “Go ahead, now,” the doctor said, waving his hand towards the door. “I don’t need you here to tend to.”

  James shuffled out of the room and to the front porch. I could see him standing there, almost pressed up against the screen, straining to hear and see what was happening inside.

  Doctor Wilson sat on the chair and pressed his palm against my stomach. “How far apart are the pains, Maude?”

  “Every few minutes, and the last ones were awful hard.”

  “Looks like it’s time. You’ll be fine.”

  I thought his speech was slurred a little, and I was sure I smelled liquor on his breath. I thought that I must be wrong. He was a deacon at the church. He would never drink alcohol. It must be the pains making me think that. I looked hard at him. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his hair hadn’t been combed. “You look tired. Is the Miller baby all right?”

  “He’s fine, he just took a lot longer than we expected. He was breech, and it took a time to right him.”

  I wasn’t sure what that meant, but if it was all right now, it couldn’t be too bad. I would ask James’s mother about it later.

  Another pain hit me. Doctor Wilson pressed his hand harder against my stomach until it let up again. “Let’s take a look,” he said, and pulled the covers back.

  Even though I knew Dr. Wilson delivered babies all the time, it was embarrassing to have him see my privates. I turned my head and looked at the wall until he was finished. He said, “I can see his little head now. When the next pain comes, I want you to push it on out, Maude.”

  I just nodded my head a little. The doctor put the covers back up over my stomach, leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. It looked to me as if he’d fallen asleep. It was only a matter of seconds until another pain came, this one the worst of all. I pulled my knees up and took a deep breath. I pushed as hard as I could, and felt it slide out of me. The pain stopped. Doctor Wilson was sound asleep.

  “James,” I called.

  James ran back in the room.

  “I think it’s here, James. Wake up the doctor.”

  James cursed, the first time I had ever heard him do that, and shook the doctor’s arm. Doctor Wilson jumped, and his eyes popped open.

  “I think the baby’s here,” I said.

  Doctor Wilson pulled the cover back down and picked up the baby. “Sure is. I wish they were all that fast.”

  My heart raced. “It isn’t crying, is it all right?”

  “She’s just fine. Not all babies cry, Maude.” He held her up so I could look at her. The little face was all scrunched up and she was blue, but she was waving her little clenched fists in the air and seemed to be breathing fine. Doctor Wilson tied off the cord and cut it. He pressed on my stomach again, first on one side and then on the other.

  He looked the baby over and then wrapped it up in one of the cloths and handed it to James. “She’s fine, James, and I’m so tired I’m ready to fall over. I’m going home. You’ll have to clean the baby up yourself.”

  Then he picked up his bag and left. James held the baby away from him as if it were hot. He gaped after the doctor’s back. “What do I do, Maude?”

  “Just dip a cloth in the warm water and wipe her down over and over until she’s clean. Keep her covered up as much as you can so she doesn’t take a chill.”

  I longed to do the job myself, but I was so spent I couldn’t even lift my head. James began the job of washing our baby. He’d barely started when another pain grabbed at me. I couldn’t help crying out. “I think there’s another one coming, James. You better run after Doctor Wilson and tell him.”

  James laid our half-washed baby in its cradle and pulled a little blanket up over her chest, then ran out the door. He was back in a few minutes. “Sister Wilson tried to get him up, but he just told her that there’s no other baby in there, and you were fine. He said he’d stop by tomorrow.”

  Another pain came, not as strong as the ones before the baby had come out, but a big pain just the same. I felt the need to push again. I caught a deep breath and bore down. Another mass slid out of me.

  “Here it is, James. See if it’s all right.”

  He pulled the covers back. “That’s not a baby. I don’t know what that is.”

  I tried to lift my head but I was too weak. “Run up to the house and see if your mother’s back yet.”

  He ran out of the room and was back in a minute. “Dad says she’s not back yet, but he’ll send her as soon as she gets here. Should I go get Helen or one of the other women?”

  “It’s the middle of the night, and they’ve all got babies of their own to tend to. What does that thing look like?”

  “It’s almost as big as a baby, but it’s like a big bag, and it’s blue and red and white and it’s got the baby’s cord hanging from it. Lord Almighty! It’s awful!”

  I could hardly catch my breath. “It must be my womb. It’s fallen out. What should we do?”

  James paced back and forth and ran his fingers through his hair, “I guess we should just try to get it back in there.”

  He worked at it and finally got it back up in me, but after just a few minutes it slid back out.

  He started pacing back and forth. “What are we going to do, Maude? It won’t stay in there.”

  I started crying. “I don’t know. Try to get back again.”

  James managed to shove the thing back up inside me again, but it slid right back out.

  I knew I had to get hold of myself for his sake. He looked so scared that my heart ached for him. The baby had started to cry. “We’ll just have to wait until morning. It’s only a few hours until sunup. Help me sit up, James.”

  He leaned over me, and I put my arms around his neck. He got me to a sitting position.

  “Give me the baby, she wants to eat.” He picked up the bundle and handed it to me. I uncovered my breast and held the baby to it. She shook her head from side to side and finally latched onto the nipple. She rooted at it and began sucking and grunting.

  James beamed. “Look at her go. She’s going to be just fine, Maude.”

  The nursing hurt, and that surprised me, but I was so happy to see how lively the little one was that I ignored the pain, and after a little while it let up. I looked up at James.

  I guess he was surprised by the expression on my face. “What’s the matter, Maude? She’s fine.”

  “She’s wonderful, but if I’ve lost my womb, we won’t have any more babies. We won’t have a little boy for you.”

  “Little boy? I don’t care about that. Look at her Maude, she’s beautiful, and she’s healthy, and she’s got everything on her just perfect.”

  “James, look
at my womb again.”

  He pulled the cover back and looked between my legs. “What am I looking for, Maude?”

  “Is it still attached to me?”

  “No, it’s just lying there by itself.”

  I couldn’t help crying. “Then I guess you might as well go bury it. We can’t keep it here. It’ll never be any good again.”

  James nodded, picked up the mass, and wrapped it in one of the cloths. He carried it outside.

  I kept nursing the baby, switching it to the other side after a few minutes the way I’d seen Helen do with Faith. She was her father’s child, with blond fuzz on her head just the way Faith had when she was born. My heart swelled inside me. I hadn’t known it was possible to love a thing so much.

  When James returned, I was lying there sound asleep with my baby sleeping on top of my stomach. He told me the next day that the two of us made the most beautiful picture he’d ever seen. He would have liked to have a lot of children, but this one would be enough.

  We were still sound asleep in the late morning when the screen door banged open and James’s mother came in. “Where’s my grandbaby?” she said so loud we both jumped.

  I opened my eyes and smiled. I was full of pride for the beautiful baby I’d made. “Right here, isn’t she beautiful?”

  Mom Connor picked up the child, unwrapped her, and examined her from head to foot.

  “A little girl. She’s perfect, just perfect. Look at that blond hair, just like her daddy. She looks exactly like he did when he came, only not as big. He was a whelp for sure. Did you have a hard time, Maude? How long did it take you?”

  “It started easy in the middle of the afternoon and didn’t get real bad until around two this morning, but she came quick after that, around four.”

  James sat up. “I’d get up, but Mom hasn’t seen me in my underpants in years.” He just sat there, a big grin on his face.

  “Get up boy, get that fire stirred up. We don’t want Maude and this baby to freeze to death.”

  He got his pants off the floor where he’d dropped them and stepped into them, then pulled on his shirt and went to stoke the fire.